i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
