Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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