my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
