Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
