You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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