he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
