Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
