He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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