She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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