i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize