Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
