We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
