And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will be naked everywhere
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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