White coat. Heels.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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