I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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