I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
