Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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