Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
