these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
