You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
