She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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