Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How does one acquire holy water?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
