i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
