Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
