brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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