While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
