can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
