All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
