Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Those nachos came to me in a dream
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
