forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
porn star boner night. come get it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
