went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
