You just made me feel so damn special
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
