worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
