I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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