He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
