i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
