Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
