you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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