I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize