So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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