the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
