Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
