We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
