i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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