Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
