Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
