a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so let's talk penis.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize