a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
