My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
