I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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