After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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