My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
