But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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