I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
