Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
