Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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