Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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