It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
