If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
