Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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