wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
