I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
